Looking for thoughts

I often find myself seeking thoughts about the things I’ve not imagined yet

I search and search in the depths of my gray areas

Only to meet the old ones some rotting, some flourishing even happily now

I feel empty

Almost thoughtless, ever felt that

Yeah it feels like someone has tied your brain down

Hmm, must be the self-doubt working its magic

Or maybe it is the thought of me not being enough itself

Ah mind

The magician, the con artist, biggest revel

What a place to create

I wish it worked just the way other organs did

Without putting much effort

How do we now unscramble the scrambled?

How do I again fall in love with the thoughts in my mind?

Talk to people — Meh!

Attend workshops? Money?

Go out? How!

Observe

That’s better

Learn from what I have

Without antianticipating that it can’t or won’t

I wait with open doors and windows

Waiting for thought to arrive

As bland as it can be

As brilliant as it can be

Arrive

It’s been a while I’ve thought

Push me out of this limbo!